"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past.A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."  -- Lewis B. Smedes

 Just once I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own. Though I miss your smile and laughter, I miss mine terribly more.  And although  my heart aches, and  cries out in vain  for you,i sit here alone knowing my mind is filled with thoughts and my eyes are filled with tears. 

Too often we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone, too often we wait too long to say “I’m sorry”, I was wrong.

 Therefore  Sometimes the person who loves you the most, can hurt you more than your enemies and As centuries go on the fact still remains; Love doesn't begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, that ends in a war; but better than humans know -love is also learning how to grow up.  that is the time for departure even when there's no certain place to go. The truth is no one ever gets tired of loving. They just get tired of waiting, apologizing, getting disappointment and  being hurt and there comes a time when  you have to stop crossing oceans for someone who wouldn't even jump puddles for you.

 “The word "frustration" is defined as the unfortunate tendency of lessening one's destiny."-Israelmore Ayivor

It’s a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal. In my personal opinion, expectation is the mother of all frustration. Frustration,although quite painful at times is a very positive and essential part of life in the long run. Things never go the way you expect them to,that's the joy of life and I'm finding as i get older,that i don't mind ,its the surprises that tickle me like crazy, the things you don't see coming or haven't seen coming for a while always provide the best results. Every mistake can lead to a greater understanding and effectiveness.Every frustration can help teach you to be more patient and more persistent;if you so choose that route. Part of the problem is how little we actually understand about the betrayal of the body and mind when it rebels against itself with anger. At times i find it extremely difficult to relax,most of the time my fatigue is caused by concern and resentment. Normally,i don't have any depths due to the fact that I'm a very superficial person,i realize my full potential and do great things with my attitude. My way of dealing with frustration is to shut down,think and speak logically an incredibly passive state of mind,don't you think? Sometimes i wonder if society really has reached it's point of no return i mean, have we really become so defensive  that we can't even tolerate such a kind act? Sometimes anticipation can be a good thing. Stop trying to squeeze your dreams into a smaller shape you weren't meant to settle for less guys!

Looking on the brighter side of life.

 Cardinal rules for living;

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1)Make peace with your past, so it won't disturb your present.
2) What other people think of you is none of your business. 
(If you really think about that;It isn't unless your intentionally asking for the dramatic opinions of others-I'd much rather not know what other people think of me unless it's a compliment,I don't entirely agree  that you should ignore everyone's opinion but it's useless to let everyone's opinions get to you since  your life likely isn't anything like the persons next to you)
3) Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
4) No one is in charge of your happiness. Except you. 
(By this i don't mean consider every situation how it'll benefit you best,but what will make you happy if nothing else when the people you trust most fail you.)
5) Don't compare your life to others and don't judge them, you have no idea what their journey is all about,where it started or how it'll end.
 6) Stop thinking too much. Its alright not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it. ( Admittedly i believed for the longest time ever i had all-timers because i forgot pretty much every question anyone asked me therefore i couldn't give answers-Seriously it's nothing to worry about,if you don't know the answer you weren't meant to at that exact moment it happens to everyone! :D )
7) Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world. 

In my opinion; 

Life is to short  to worry about stupid things!
You should always have fun No matter what. Regret nothing  and not let anyone bring you down. I believe that taking the time to do what makes your soul happy is realizing that someday everything will make perfect sense. For now; You should laugh at your confusion,Smile through the mid day tears and Continually remind yourself that everything happens for a reason that there really is a purpose!

Believe it or not;

As Ridiculous as this sounds I drove into town to get my haircut (As i noted earlier in the week ill be a junior this year) Asked this lady i had known since i was a child to cut my hair and i must admit she did a rather splendid job convincing me to get stoked about a haircut i hadn't asked for. When i first talked to her i let her know not to take anymore than 3inches off my ends .. She took 6 and a half. :/ Now i personally know as a female who can relate to just about any other girl who's ever got their hair cut wrong that there is nothing more upsetting in the world then when your hair that took years to grow out ;gets cut as if it were nothing while you wait to see it and are expected to be an adult who's mature enough not to cry when you first see it and realize its nothing like you had originally asked for. (keep in mind i was facing away from the mirror the entire time!) As i stated in the Cardinal Rule #3  Time heals almost everything and it will!

Tomorrow I become a junior so instead of getting upset and crying,i laughed about how my hair looked,flipped it around combed through it,taking it as something to embrace in my new year. A Brand new look and start to this year and here's the best part; I DON'T at all regret it ^_^ Would the Readers please tell me their opinion of my new haircut? I Love you all so much! <3

Sophomore year dedication.

                                  This was me a year ago
and I'd be lying if i said my entire sophomore year was a complete waste of time.I've met so many unique individuals whom I'm now friends with that i likely would have never spoken to given the opportunity. I managed to unravel the mystery behind the kid who stood in front of my practical living classroom when i was just a freshmen. This turned out to be the most time consuming discovery in all my years. I ended up in classes i would have never in a million years pictured myself being interested in. As it turned out i had to learn the unruly way that sophomore year was the year i would have to witness people tear apart one another's friendships and that was also the year infinite possibilities would captivate those simple pleasures in life i had always taken for granted. In my eyes this was the year i drowned in a treacherous sea of drama,broke up countless silly arguments out of despair for humanity and let my inner soul run free. Truthfully speaking this year in particular, chaos had taught me to take the time to invest my thoughts in order to rally up discussions between myself and my fellow classmates. Getting a full perspective of how others feel toward such delicate matters really made me stop and think about how other individual backgrounds are formed from the second there endure a hardship. Each and everyone of us has seen things no other person would dare believe. We have all lost things not a single soul on this planet would understand,for those around us to be even remotely interesting they must first be crazy in some way or another. That's where anyone's life begins. We all change when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives,and that's OK,that's good,as long as you keep moving and remember all the people you used to be. In the end we all  become a single memory or story to pass down from generation to the next and though the universe is big,vast,complicated and ridiculous -Sometimes.. impossible things just happen and we call them miracles.